Because You’re a Woman

I love olives.

I mean, I reeaally looooove olives. Castelvetrano—those plump green ones from Spain—are my favorite. But I am by no means an olive snob. I am beyond happy to open a cheap can of mission olives, dig my fingers in the liquid and pop them into my mouth two at a time. I used to think this was one thing, among many, that made me unique.

Then I met Jordan.

And as we were getting to know each other, we revealed small bits of information about ourselves. For example, Jordan drinks his coffee black and he loves curry.

I decided to tell him about olives, hoping to make an impression so that he might remember how much I like them and one day surprise me with a lifetime supply. I summoned my deepest passion for the salty treats, and with a very serious look on my face, I revealed one of my small, but unique attributes.

“I…looove…olives,” I said.

He looked unimpressed.

“I know,” he replied.

Silence

“Do you want to know how I know?,” he asked.

Without giving me time to answer, he replied to his own question:

“Because you’re a woman.”

Later, when we were talking about books, art and creative expression I told him that I took a photography class in college.

“I know,” he said.

“Do you want to know how I know? …because you’re a woman.”

Dark chocolate, red wine, sushi…none of these can be mine because, according to Jordan, they belong to all women.

It’s a good thing I met him at 34 because my 22-year-old self would have been deeply offended. Now at least I can appreciate that he seems to know what pleases me.

Other things women love:

• Massages
• Painting
• Yoga
• Bed and Breakfasts
• Foreplay
• France